An open letter to cookbook author Jessica Seinfeld

Dear Jessica Seinfeld,

I want you to know that I just gave away my copy of your book, “Double Delicious! Good, Simple Food For Busy, Complicated Lives!” Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lovely book! The photos are great and everything looks and sounds delicious and I AM both busy and complicated. But we’ve got to talk about the whole ‘adding pureed vegetables into every meal’ thing.

I got the book at a book sale for a dollar. A DOLLAR! For a nicely made spiral bound cookbook with ultra healthy recipes! I thought to myself: YES! EVERYTHING WILL BE DIFFERENT NOW. I will have no loss in taste or flavor and just be able to sneak in some cauliflower puree. Or sneak in some spinach. We’ll be eating all kinds of veggies! I will be a veggie puree ninja. No one will suspect a thing.

But then it sat. And sat. And sat. For a year. I don’t have many cookbooks, but at this point I’ve used every other cookbook I own except yours, including “Tastes and Tales from Texas”. I suspect the prior owner of this book went through the same steps I have gone through while I owned your book:

  1. Denial: Yeah, I’m absolutely going to start making vegetable purees for cooking!
  2. Anger: There are two pages of equipment and three pages of instructions! That’s ALL busy and complicated!!
  3. Bargaining: I’ll pick up some cauliflower and give it a shot… and we’ll have a cupcake to celebrate!
  4. Depression: Cauliflower went bad. Cupcake’s eaten. I have to be up early for that thing. Ugh~
  5. Acceptance: I am never going to do this and should probably get rid of this book.

I’m sorry. It’s just that most of us with busy, complicated lives can’t invest in a puree system, take the time to do it, and then go about freezing them. Your entry level bar is too high. In the time it took me to read about it, whoops, I already ordered pizza and it is delicious. I can’t do it. Sorry.

I was looking forward to this inspiring other ways I could do good, simple things for my busy, complicated life. Like hot yoga while waiting at the DMV. Knitting a scarf that I am also casually wearing. Doing a fasting cleanse because I literally can’t get a lunch in.

So again, sorry about this. You know that old saying, “It’s not you, I’m just very tired and I want to go to bed, please.”

3 thoughts on “An open letter to cookbook author Jessica Seinfeld

  1. Mary E. Krobock

    I think Ms. Seinfeld expected too much of you. Consider roasting or grilling vegetables. Much less complicated or you could just have a V8.

  2. Some days it’s all I can do to buy the pre-cut bag of broccoli florets, blanch them, and eat them with my hands like green popcorn. No shame, just fiber.

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