Last week things changed for us.
The Supreme Court, in a 5-4 vote, made the law of the land that anyone has the right to marry, regardless of the gender of the person they are marrying.
This is an issue I have supported for along time. I have friends who have feared not being able to see their loved ones in the hospital. Or experiencing a situation like Mr. Obergefell, whose spouse passed away and he was left off the death certificate, making for many complicated legal issues. I have friends and family members who so wanted to have the same rights and privileges to be afforded for their relationships, just as straight couples have.
I am happy for their victory. I am happy they will have a chance to have those rights extended to them. They are people just like anyone else. They deserve to be treated like equals.
I know, though, that there are people who disagree with this sentiment. They feel that they are undeserving or that they are encroaching on an institution in which they do not belong.
Marriage is a complicated issue. We’d attached a lot of legal statuses to it while mixing it up with religious ideals. (…okay, in that case, I suppose ‘complicated’ may be an understatement.) But people have a wide variety of reasons for feeling the way they feel. Anger may be present. Disgust. Resentment. And at the end of the day… we all need to live with one another.
I’ve seen the word ‘respect’ floating around and I think it’s one that needs to be carefully considered with this issue. In light of the ruling, there has been uncivil behavior reported on both sides… Pardon the Texas coming out there, but y’all need to cut that out. We all need to respect each other. We all have to live with each other. We all need to move forward.
At work I have a boss who I discuss process and procedure with. He and I are hashing out a lot of new rules and ideas and we usually have completely different thoughts about things. We talk, we disagree, we find middle ground sometimes. I say sometimes because it’s hard for us to both get everything we want. Some ideas are going to be in direct conflict with each other. We still talk and try, though. I remarked to him a few weeks ago that I was glad that he and I could, “disagree with each other in a respectful way.” I think there’s going to be a lot of that “disagree in a respectful way” with this issue over the next months and years. And that’s okay – it’s human nature.
But at the same time, I feel like the only way we can understand each other, and our alternative points of view, is to talk. I have ideas and you have ideas. We can share them and maybe learn more about each other. Or maybe we end up agreeing to disagree.
I am ready and willing to have those discussions. I want to share my point of view and hear yours. So seek me out. Reply to this post. Message me on twitter. Send me an email. I am available. We all need to live with each other and there’s a way to go about this with civility while respecting one another. We can do this.
I’d just start by asking you to remember that gay people aren’t getting married to make you feel anger or disgust. They’re getting married because they want to take care of each other because they care for one another.
It comes from a good place. This all comes from a good place.
So let’s talk about that.