When I signed up for Jeb Bush’s email list in July, I just expected campaign updates. The first email wasn’t from Jeb himself, but his people, thanking me for contacting them and letting me know we’d keep in touch. Sure. Okay.
What followed was a surprisingly personal relationship that attempted to rival even my own close friendships. In honor of him dropping out of the race, I’ve decided to now reveal this relationship to the public. Here is a series of correspondences I received from Jeb Bush, personally. The following emails are 100% real, though in the interest in not encouraging his behavior, I kept these replies private UNTIL NOW…
Tue, Jul 21, 2015 at 3:23 PM – Subject: How are you watching the first debate?
Oh, uh. Hey Jeb. How am I going to watch the debate? I don’t have cable (I know, millennial) so I’ll probably see where I can stream it online. Why?
“In just a little over two weeks, I’ll be walking on stage for the first debate of the 2016 Presidential Election, and I want you to be there.”
Woah, Jeb. Dude. That’s really nice of you but I don’t think I can head to Cleveland on such short notice. Thanks for thinking of me though!
Mon, Jul 27, 2015 at 9:40 AM – Subject: When I wake up:
Oh god, please don’t tell me about your dreams. GOOD MORNING, JEB.
“When I woke up this morning and got started with my day there were two things that came to mind.”
Handcrafting me this email and freedom?
“1. Winning the White House and fixing Washington so every American again has the right to rise. 2. Having the resources to do it.”
Just two little things to start the day, eh Jeb?
“I’ll make you this promise: I won’t yield an inch in this fight. I’ll go everywhere and talk with everyone”
At this point, Jeb was the nice guy that couldn’t take a hint. He was sending me every little email he could:
And then this happened.
Sun, Oct 4, 2015 at 3:41 PM – Subject: Come meet me and my parents
Putting a face to a name is important, especially with all the emails I send you.”
Jeb, I am so sorry. I’m not sure if signing up for your email list gave you the wrong idea and you’re a nice guy and all… But come meet your parents?! I’m married. To a guy I like. I think your wife would be pretty pissed, too. I just don’t see it working out.
Jeb didn’t take it well.
And then, ON VALENTINE’S DAY.
Oh my god. Jeb. Oh my god.
I couldn’t reply. I didn’t. I had no words to send. And then, a few days later:
Fri, Feb 19, 2016 at 4:05 PM – Subject: I know it’s Friday afternoon
“Lauren — We’re $14,628 short of our $250,000 goal, so I needed to reach back out.”
JEB. First you’re professing that you can’t do this without me, Lauren, please, etc. And now you’re asking me for money? Really, guy? Really?!
And then, the next day, I find out from a friend that he dropped out. No email, no nothing. Unbelievable.
Jeb, this relationship has been a wild rollercoaster ride, let me assure you! But you drop out and you don’t even tell me? You’ll email about what you woke up thinking about and that you need $14,000 but you won’t email me when you drop out? Seriously?
Until yesterday. Five days later he emailed.
Oh yes, Jeb. We communicated. A lot. And while I can’t say I’ll miss those emails, I’ll miss seeing Jeb! all over the place. THANK YOU.