Death Cab For Cutie – You Can Do Better Than Me

I should start this post by saying I love my husband, a lot. We met on the internet, before everyone was using OKCupid and Match.com to meet people. We got to know each other on message boards and in IRC rooms before giving a long distance relationship a shot. It’s 12 years strong at this point and we’re crazy about each other. But sometimes? Sometimes things get snarky. You have a spat in a car. And then, THEN, the shuffle on your iPod plays a Death Cab For Cutie song entitled ‘You Can Do Better Than Me’ with lyrics like:

I’m starting to feel
We stay together
Out of fear
Of dying alone

GAH. You sloooowly turn your heads to look at each other, not saying a word. There’s nothing TO say. Ben Gibbard is narrating it all for you.

I have to face the truth
That no one could ever look at me
Like you do
Like I’m something worth
Holding to

Years later, if I hear this song, I think about this little squabble. And how after the song played I snapped off the radio and we sat in silence for a bit. And then we apologized to each other. Because that’s what you do. I don’t know that we could ‘do better’ than one another. We can just try to be better.

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Surgery was yesterday and I’m fine.

So far it doesn’t hurt so much as ache, but we’re early yet.

I keep getting tackled by surprise naps. I’ll be doing/reading/interneting something and all of a sudden it’s… “I’ll just close my eyes for a secon- zzzz.”

In between the naps I’ve been listening to leftasrain.com. Left As Rain is a music blog/player I’ve been following for years. It’s just mellow indie stuff, nice background music. It’s just perfect. Simple layout, true to it’s musical “voice”, and I’ve found out about a bunch of new bands. I just kicked $20 their way to help cover bandwidth fees.

The other thing I’ve been doing is designing outfits using polyvore.com. Polyvore lets you clip outfit items from websites and then lay them out. For example, I might have a slight thing for flappers right now. I’ve been grabbing 1928 Jewelry and some lacy Banana Republic tops and putting them together to see what I like. No money spent, all the fun of shopping, surprise naps friendly.

And a quick shout-out to alreadypretty.com. Sally blogs what she wears everyday. It’s not some kind of vanity project, it’s more of a discussion of different components of fashion. How to plan what you wear, how to take risks, really how to know what you’re doing. She’s really enabled me to feel comfortable finding a personal voice in what I wear. It’s not this shameful and awkward experience now to pick out an outfit.

I feel like I should end all these posts with ‘god bless the internet’.