An Update on the Laurens

For those of you who might not know, there are several people who share my name and frequently use my email address when they go about their daily lives. It’s a minor annoyance but I figure it’s my duty in the universe to be a good ambassador of my name.

With the holidays came a new flurry of activity and I thought everyone would appreciate knowing what they’re (I’m) up to.

  • Almost joined the Nextdoor website when someone invited a Lauren for their neighborhood. It’s social media for your physical neighborhood so you can, I don’t know, arrange block parties and complain about that lady who feeds the stray cats. If I were evil that could have been fun.
  • Invited to a track meet.
  • Proof of insurance for a car.
  • Someone loves shopping at Anthropologie!!!
  • Registered a Playstation.
  • Signed up for French daily deal emails. For, well, France.
  • I joined two employment seeking websites in the UK! (Which if she can’t type her email address in correctly does not bode well for her at all.) (I wonder if this is the UK Lauren with the debt service and the disposable phone?)
    • Note to self: she is quickly turning into literary fodder.
  • Had not one but TWO spa appointments. The conversation was great as I fumbled though, “Look, I’d love to take her up on the massage but I think the travel to Florida would disrupt my day.”
  • One Lauren had something (???) destroyed so I was greeted with an email titled, “CERTIFICATE OF DESTRUCTION” which might be the most metal thing I’ve ever been emailed.

But then there’s the sad ones. Where some family member has made a mistake and emailed to let me know there’s a loss. There was one especially heartbreaking one right around Christmas. Grandma wanted everyone to know how she was doing that season, especially since her husband had died recently. She was sad but said she was surrounded by loved ones and it made a difference.

I always let them know that I’m not their Lauren. But I also let them know that loss and grief is something shared by many people. We’ve all been touched by it in one way or another. I hope for their peace of mind.

I never get a reply on those emails and it’s fine. I’m sure they have a lot to think about. But I hope their Laurens are reaching out and trying to help them. We need to take care of each other. It’s what humans do. Even if it means that we don’t get a spa day in Florida.

There are people whom with I share my name.

Estimate for a Deck

Estimate for a deck. Not mine.

I have what I would guess is a fairly common problem here in the modern age. I have the same name as other people who use the internet. And not only that, I have an email address of that name. Now, you’d think that people would know their own email address. You registered it and using it is much like giving out a phone number – you want people to contact you so you give them your email address. Well, people aren’t contacting YOU when you give out the wrong email – they’re contacting ME.

At first it was little things… like adding me to a mailing list or sending me photos of someone’s vacation or children. A quick, “Whoops! Not your Lauren!” email would set people straight. They’d apologize, and it would be fine. Those instances are the ones I understood. But sometimes they’d say that the offending Lauren had told them what to type. How weird. I’d ask them to remind her that it wasn’t her email and that would be that.

About a half dozen Laurens have made this mistake over the years. These are things that were clearly not intended for me:

  • An Australian Lauren has been asked to umpire softball tournaments via my email
  • I have also been invited to a Tupperware party in Australia
  • I have been signed up for not only a virtual pet service but a virtual magical horse breeding website
  • The estimate for the deck above is for some Lauren in Louisiana and it is LOVELY
  • Lauren in the UK has signed up for a money management service as well as a disposable cell phone
  • Someone named Adam who would accidentally send along emails like ‘my phone is dead call soon’ and fwd: lost high heeled shoes in rental car’ (I think they were dating.)

One is a Lauren in the South Carolina/Georgia area. I got a ticket she bought for a Halloween party. Lucky for her, the phone number was listed on the order. It was one of the more confusing phone calls I’ve made. “Hi, you don’t know me, but I am Lauren and I’ve been sent your ticket for the party you were planning on going to and I got your phone number off the email and I didn’t want you to miss the party. Hi.” She gave me her email address and I forwarded the ticket to her.

I always try to make an effort. Always. I figure if karma exists maybe some will come my way. Plus it makes for an interesting story.

This weekend, a new Lauren presented herself. I’d been signed up for real estate e-mails from Virginia for a couple years now and this weekend I get emails from U-haul and Comcast. I guess she found her new house. I had her address and phone number but I haven’t called her. It’s WEIRD AND UNCOMFORTABLE. Her orders have been placed so is the point moot? Do I call anyway and say, what, “Hey, you’ve been using my email address sooooo… stop?” I’m going to ponder the issue and see what I think I should do. I don’t want to wait too long, because then it’s out of the blue, and I don’t want to wig her out. But it should be addressed… right?

Maybe I’ll send her a housewarming card.